The first time was in a grocery store. We were in the cereal aisle arguing about which pasta to get, which is the kind of argument we have.

A woman a few feet away turned around and asked him what he was wearing. Not me. Him. I was the one holding the basket.

He told her Versace Eros. She typed it into her phone. We finished the shop and I brought it up twice in the car.

The second time was a Tuesday morning. He orders the same coffee every day, same place, same order.

That morning the girl making his coffee leaned over the machine and told him he smelled incredible. He said thanks. We walked out. I didn't speak for a block.

That one was Versace Pour Homme, which is what he'd switched to that month, because apparently he switches now.

Here's the part I couldn't get past. If it was some expensive bottle he'd saved up for, I could at least complain about it and lose the argument fairly.

It isn't. He pays for a subscription called Scentbird, and his first month cost $8.97.

One 8 mL atomizer arrives every month, about 120 sprays, which is roughly a month of actually wearing it. He picks the next one from a catalog of over a thousand designer and niche scents, and he can skip a month or cancel whenever.

A full bottle of either of those two runs north of a hundred dollars.

So he smells like that, and it costs him $9, and there's no argument to make.